Wings.

   
Be like the bird that,

             passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight,
                                  feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings,
                                                                knowing that she hath
                                             wings.

                                                                                                                            - Victor Hugo

picture by: Zara

Hand Holding

Tonight I held a boy's hand for the first time since June...at ward prayer. Yes, at ward prayer. So apparently our ward has a ward prayer tradition of holding hands with the opposite sex in a big circle during the prayer. Boy, girl, boy, girl...all around the house. I'm not going to lie...it was awkward.

It reminded me of dinner appointments with a family on my mission, in St. Clairsville, Ohio. During their dinner prayer they all hold hands. My companion and I would have a silent fight with our eyes-- vying for the seat between the two little girls. The alternative was sitting between several teenage boys or the dad. Also awkward.

Needless to say, it won't be one of my family traditions...you can count on that!

Miracles and Power

I believe in miracles.


With all that has happened in my life in the last 9 months, it would be careless and unnatural for me to not believe in miracles. Through the small and huge things that have happened, God has shouted out His love and His reality to me.


I've recently started studying the Book of Mormon from the beginning again. Nephi saw many miracles and was such an important example of faith. He felt God's power.

"for the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore he prepareth a way...

he hath all power..." (1 Nephi 9:6)

"And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men,

how is it that he cannot instruct me...?" (1 Nephi 17:5)

Having seen God's miracles, and having felt of His power, I have great faith in Him that He will instruct me. Do I apply to Social Work master programs? Do I consider dental hygiene? Do I stay in Salt Lake? Sky West? Do I move to Provo? Washington D.C.? So many questions. He knows!

If spelling isn't your forte....

If you founder when it comes to spelling, pronunciation, or correct word usage, you can stop now! We had a good laugh as we read through these top 100 most mispronounced words. I'm amazed at how many of the words I used wrong.

These are a few of my favorites:

forte (pronounced "fort")
spit & image (not spitting image)
champ at the bit (not chomp)
herb (not said 'erb)
jewelry (not said jewlery...which I always do even though I know it's wrong)
pernickety (not persnickety)

And my favorite, "potable," because my entire airline uses it wrong, and it's the only place I hear it on a regular basis. According to us, you are all drinking "pottable" water when you fly the friendly skies. I'll have to educate my industry!

Bravely done, Mom!

In our family we often note when we've done something particularly "Clark" (my dad) or "Linford" (my mom). I naturally seem to lean more heavily to the Clark side, but am always trying to cultivate the Linford in me. Here is a fine example of my Linford side shining through.

We were at Costco. Mom wanted to try on some pants, but she didn't want to buy them, go into the bathroom, try them on, and then go return them if they weren't the perfect size. So, we went back to where they stock the paper towels and napkins. There was this small space where a stack of product should have been-- this is where my mom stood, changed quickly, and tried on the pants (and some shorts), while I tried to cover her and watch for people. I will say that it is a difficult task to remain inconspicuous while laughing...hard. But, I urged her along, which I would usually be too nervous to do...

Here's a picture:

Bravely done, Mom!

p.s. The pants were very cute and she bought them! She is so stylish!

As good as London!

Mom and I went to Washington D.C. last week. We had planned to go to London for the week, but at the last minute flights didn't look very good coming back-- and as much as we wanted to go to London, we didn't want to get stuck there! We decided instead to go see my sister-in-law, Rebecca, and my fun, loving nephew, Benjamin! We had such a great time together!

We had fun playing with Benjamin and chatting with Rebecca. We went into D.C. to visit the American History Museum, we baked and cooked, and just completely relaxed together! Fun fun! Thank you, Becca!

Benjamin! Such an endearing little guy!

In front of the Washington Monument

Me and Mom in front of the Capitol

Bangs.

I'm considering cutting bangs? What do you think of these options? On me?

What do you really think?

JOY

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." 

Albert Camus

My mom asked me the other day if I ever feel guilty for feeling happy after such a terribly hard thing happened to me.  She can say these kinds of things to me because she loves me so much and knows me so well.  She knows me well enough to know that I had thought this.  I've wondered if people will see that I'm happy and think that maybe I didn't love Clark enough.  What if I don't cry every day anymore?  Am I allowed to be happy?

I've come to terms with my happiness.  I'm just going to be happy.  That's why we exist-- to feel complete joy.  And I do.  And I've decided that it's okay.  I will never stop missing Clark.  I don't think I will ever stop getting a little choked up every time I see a little baby that reminds me so much of him-- or when I read an adoption story-- or when I look at hospital pictures-- or pictures from his parents.  But even these things make me happy too.  I am grateful.  And so completely blessed.

These are just a few reasons why I am so happy:

• I love God.
• He loves me...and is so obvious about it!
• I love my parents! Tons.
• I have a job...even if I am only part-time...and still don't have health benefits.  
• I love my job.
• I am healthy.
• I love good, healthy food.
• I feel the Spirit.
• I can go to the temple!
• I have an awesome roommate and a place to live.  
• I can touch my toes really easily now...because of yoga...which also makes me happy.
• I have really great brothers and sisters- and I like the people they married.
• I'm visiting one of them now in D.C.  Rebecca's as good as a real sister.  
• Benjamin is so full of love and says funny things all day long that just make me laugh.  Today he said, "Luc?  Can I call you that?"  I said, "of course."  A few minutes later, from down the sidewalk, he yelled, "Luc!"  That made me happy.  And his hugs and kisses just make me feel so loved.  He's great that way!

Stars and Light

I've been thinking today about what a high counselor spoke about yesterday.  He began by talking about stars- worldly "stars" like athletes, musicians, and actors- and also about the most important "stars"- men and women of God- and especially our prophet.  

I've always thought a lot about light.  My name- Lucy- means "light."  I like that.  It is a good reminder of how I should live my life.  I haven't always and I regret it and what it took away from my character during that time.  Apathy and disobedience can take away our light.  Lucifer- whose name also means light- a morning star- had such potential for being full of light.  But because he was disobedient, he lost light and became a "fallen star."  So many of the worldly stars we idolize are actually "falling stars."  

The prophet, however, is the brightest star there is, and we can have complete confidence in him because of this.  We can also be full of light by making conscious efforts to not fall.  It's so easy to fall.  I've done it, dang it- and people I love have done it, or are doing it.  It's just so easy to do if you don't work for the light.  You just can't take a break, or you fall just a little bit- and then it becomes easier to fall just a little bit more.  

I am so happy when I am filled with light!  

(p.s.  When I get super spiritual like this, I understand that it may be just too much for you.  It's just a huge part of who I am and what I think about...so sometimes it ends up in my blog.  Thanks for acting like you like it.)

MTC small world moment!

At the end of Relief Society today, the girl sitting next to me turned to me and said, "Sister Clark!" I taught her at the MTC 3 years ago. I love running into missionaries I taught. Teaching at the MTC was an honor and a huge blessing! I still cry each time I sing "Called to Serve," as I think of the entire MTC auditorium filled with missionaries vigorously singing. I love missionary work and feel so lucky to have been able to serve the Lord as a missionary and as a teacher!

Welcome to Holland

In our testimony meeting today, a girl related this story (which was originally told by Elaine L. Jack):

“It’s like this …planning a fabulous vacation trip—to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Colosseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
“After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, ‘Welcome to Holland.’
“ ‘Holland?!?’ you say. ‘What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.’
“But there’s been a change in the flight plan. You’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
“The important thing is … they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place.
“So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
“It’s just a different place. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
“But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, ‘Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.’
“But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.”

I know that God has beautiful things in store for me in my own "Holland." I'm grateful that He has allowed me to experience things and have plans fall through. His plans for us are always better than the plans we make.

Superwoman!

One of my favorite parts of the day is doing yoga. I never thought I would like it like I do. These are my favorite things about yoga:

• Being with my mom! (which has sadly ended now that I'm a UT resident again)


• I can see my progress quickly and daily. It's very rewarding.
  
• Physically, it makes me feel good as I am doing it AND afterward!


• I'm pretty sure it does something productive for my little soul.


• Most of all I feel like superwoman! After doing yoga in the morning, I feel like I can seriously do anything- reach the stars, run for miles, lift anything, and be anyone!

Elder Wirthlin

I love Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. Until he passed away in December of 2008, he served as an Apostle for more than 22 years. He has always been one I looked forward to hearing speak. He spoke with love and was an example of strength and commitment to God and His kingdom. He was truly a disciple of Christ! I will miss him!

Shortly before Elder Wirthlin died, he gave, in my opinion, one of his greatest and most memorable talks. I recommend watching this abbreviated version of his talk:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVNYhcYEwIE&NR=1