When I tell people I placed my baby for adoption, so often I hear things like “Wow. You’re so brave.” or “I don’t know how you did it. I could never have done that.”
It hit me the other day that people use the word brave not for people whose circumstances they admire but for the people who have experienced misfortune beyond their control. Brave seems to be code for “Thank goodness I’m not in your situation.”
“I could never have done that,” code for “You must not love him like I love my children…because I could never give my child away.”
To those people I just want to say that I made the best decision for my baby. Brave? Unbelievably brave. Hard? The most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
I am with you there!! Hard and Brave.
ReplyDeleteYou should say "Not everyone can love their child enough to give them what they NEED." Or something along those lines.
ReplyDeletei think i read this description of "brave" in an issue of women's health magazine. it struck me as well.
ReplyDelete