Clark is 4 months old in 15 minutes. Maybe by the time I post this, it will be 2:03…the time he was born. The time my life changed forever. Here are some of my thoughts from that moment:
“…the second he came out and was placed on my tummy, I knew I could never let him go. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone or anything… Holding Clark changed me. I will never be the same. I am a mother. I have never loved as much. I cried the moment his little wet body was placed on my tummy in my arms. How has anyone placed their baby for adoption after holding him? I still don’t know.”
And I still don’t know. But, I’m grateful I was given the power to do it. A power way beyond me, and the knowledge that it was the best thing for Clark, helped me sign those papers.
I love you, Clark! Happy, happy 4 months! You are a blessed little baby. You have the best parents! I love you!
Just moments before I handed him to Ben and Heather.
Oh, Lucy. I love you. Thanks for being strong when it has been so, so hard. I can't even imagine.
ReplyDeleteI've always tried to remind myself that the depth of sorrow we feel also makes it possible to feel the same extreme of joy. Bring on the joy!
I am in awe of you...
ReplyDeleteWow Lucy you make me cry!!! He is beautiful what a strong woman you are!!!...
ReplyDelete