6 Months!

I love this picture of me and Clark.  I’m telling him something important.  Maybe I’m telling him how much I love him and how hard it is going to be to let him go.  Maybe I’m telling to be good, kind, and obedient.  I might be telling him to serve a mission and get married in the temple.  There were so many things I told him during those two days.     

I wish I could hold him right now.  This is what I would tell him today:

Clark,

I know you don’t remember me, but six months ago I gave birth to you—you were perfect!  Some day I’ll remind you of those two heaven-like days we had together.  I think you knew me well.  You knew my voice.  I held you so close.  I hated to let you go, even just  for a moment when we were in the hospital.  Then I let you go forever—so that you could be happy.  I never thought I’d stop crying when you were gone.  But, I don’t cry every day anymore—just some nights when I’m all alone and my ache for you can’t seem to calm.  I still miss you like crazy.  I still think of you constantly.  And, of course, I love you!  I’m grateful for the miracle of your existence.  I love your parents and am grateful for the happy home they have given you.  I love you, Clark!

Love, 

Lucy

He is so cute, so big and so happy! 

It’s hard to believe that he’s lived for a half of a year.  Looking back through our hospital pictures, and remembering the pain, I’m kind of surprised I’ve made it half of a year.  But I have.  I only have through the Atonement.  Christ has eased the ache and given me strength, blessings, and happiness!