Thank you Chris, Barbara, and DeWin!
Brian bought a house a few months ago. He was just going to knock out a wall in the bathroom. Then one day all of the walls were gone. And the kitchen cabinets. And the flooring. And a ceiling. And electrical stuff.
The electrical is all back. The walls are all up again. They are textured and primed. They are ready to be painted pretty colors—yellow, tan, green, gray. I’m excited about the walls.
I’m afraid my truest colors have come out in the process. I’m amazed that Brian still loves me. I picked bathroom schemes, then promptly change my mind…once everything had been picked out. And I might have done some other fun tricks like that. I was just testing him. He passed.
The house is going to beautiful!
It isn’t quite finished though.
We may be living in a tent.
Or we may be lucky enough to live at his parents.
If they’ll have us.
Today I just finished my last flight as a flight attendant. I loved being a flight attendant!
I loved it much more than I hated it. But somehow my lists came out about equal in length. Hmm.
I loved:
My lists of dislikes is far too long for how much I loved the job:
I never had an emergency in the 3+ years that I have been a flight attendant—not even scary turbulence. I never had any unusually mean or crazy passengers. I never had anyone complain about me (the girl I just finished flying with gets like 10 complaints a year…why she told me that, I’m not sure—probably something to do with bullet point 6 above. I wasn’t surprised that she had so many complaints. I had a passenger ask for her name our first day flying together— let’s just say she’s a bit abrasive. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed my time. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe when my kids are all grown I will try it again….maybe with a different airline…one that treats it’s employees just a tad better …maybe an airline that hands out honey roasted peanut.
I’m having a hard time deciding if I should feel horrible for having let October 2nd come and go without having written about Clark turning 9 months old. It’s not that I didn’t think of him. I did. I think about him constantly. I didn’t realize it was October 2nd, that he was 9 months old that day, and that for the first time since he was born, I would not write about him on that day.
I asked Brian if I should feel bad. He said that I shouldn’t because I wrote about him on the 26th. I asked him how he knew I had written on the 26th. He just did. He remembers numbers.
Maybe I won’t write every 2nd day of the month anymore. Maybe I’ll just write when I feel like it?
So happy! So cute!
Eating—he loves real food!
I love you, Clark!
This morning when I woke up I was feeling especially overwhelmed. I have this thing that I am constantly working on in my life. Yesterday I didn’t do so well with it. Today I woke up feeling discouraged because of my failures yesterday. You know how that is?
Then I watched this:
I’m grateful for a prophet and for apostles that speak words of hope. Most of all I am grateful for the ultimate provider of hope—our Savior, Jesus Christ—for his love, for his life, and for his death. I love Him!
Dear Emi,
Remember how we both screamed the night that you came home and I had the blender going and I was wearing a black hoodie?
Imagine that times 10 when I'm laying in my bed last night...it's completely dark in the house. Every light is turned out. I have my earplugs in. My door is open. And all of a sudden I see a flashlight with a slightly blue-ish glow coming from the kitchen. I almost had a heart attack. Of course, in that moment, I did not logically think, "oh yes, of course, Emily told me people were coming"...instead I was sure my throat was about to be slit. Really. That was the only idea in my mind. I'm about to die. I'm about to die. Ha ha!
Love, Lucy
I just touched the soft bristles of the sponge I used to wash him during our last hour together and my hands ached just a little bit. They still hurt.
I’ve been cleaning my room again, and I came across Clark’s box of hospital things— his “Special Delivery” hospital shirt that I have been sleeping with every night. But it stopped smelling like him, so I finally washed it, folded it, and put it away.
And then I smelled the Johnson & Johnson baby wash. I have 3 little bottles that I took from the hospital. One of them is the actual bottle I opened to bathe him with.
Bathing him, with my mom by my side, was one of the most beautiful and sacred moments we had together. I wish he could remember that moment more than any other.
Joseph is my brother that lives in Honduras. I don’t like Honduras, but I like him! He had a birthday about a week ago, and I still haven’t celebrated it on my blog!
So here’s a celebration for Joseph:
I love you!
I could be sitting next to Harry Connick Jr. and not notice—and I really like Harry Connick Jr. (There’s something about the way he dances with Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats that kind of melts my heart.) I’m sure that I have had many famous people on my flights without having any idea. Oh, the missed autograph opportunities!
I’ve had only a handful of celebrities on my flights in the last 3 years.
Today I had Brad Pitt!
Just kidding. I didn’t. Or maybe I did and I didn’t notice.
Actually, today I had a C-list actor—Kim Coates. Had the other flight attendant not identified him, I would never had known. But, now I’ve googled him—and he’s for real. I guess he was in The Client and Pearl Harbor and a lot of TV shows. I think he really loved that someone finally knew who he was because he really tried to work it with me and wondered what hotel I was staying at. Actually, he was quite charming.
Last year I had Michael Keeton. He was sitting in the first row, and I sat facing him much of the flight and had no idea I was amidst such fame. I did notice his shoes, nice fitting jeans, and cashmere sweater though! It wasn’t until the end of the flight that I finally looked at his face and thought, “I think he might be famous.” And then it wasn’t until after he left, and the pilots told me, that I was able to put a name to his face. (For those who care, his real name is Michael Douglas. It was his name on my flight manifest. Interesting)
I had Wayne Newton once. His hair is super black and shiny. I had no idea he was famous. I had to google him too.
The first famous person I noticed on a flight was my most interesting one. Kim Peek. He’s the man that inspired the movie, Rain Man. He’s played by Dustin Hoffman (who costars with Tom Cruise). He is a savant and has a photographic memory. He was traveling with his father who asked me questions that Kim Peek could provide very interesting information about. He knew my zip code and area code when I told him which city I was from. He knew what day of the week I was born on just by knowing the date. He knew what day my birthday would be next year and the next. It was pretty fascinating.
I disconnected from everyone and everything possible.
I took the plug out of the socket of my little shattered life and I read. I read and I read and I read. I never read so many books in such a short period of time.
I read books that became my favorites: Jubilee Trail (and other fantastic books by Gwen Bristow), A Town Called Alice, The Winds of War, Crow Lake, and many, many more.
Ideas come when I’m reading. I should have been a blogger then. Imagine the ideas that would have come. They would have been very bitter, but very clever.
I hurt so bad then. Now as I read, I am usually very hopeful. I am happy. So, so happy.
I’ve read several books in the past few weeks that I’ve loved. The History of Love, by Nicole Krauss. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer (loved!). I just finished Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins a few days ago.
I’m not sure what to read next. Any ideas? Please share!
I’m cleaning my room and made the mistake of going through pictures from Clark’s birth.
I miss him so much. Sometimes I still wish it could have all happened just a little differently—like Abraham. You see, Abraham didn’t have to actually sacrifice his son. I was a little bit delirious in the hospital from a lack of sleep, but I really thought there was a chance that I would only have to go as far as Abraham did and then an angel would stop me from actually going through with it. I was waiting for the last minute phone call informing me of the “tragic” death of the one person that made it impossible for me to keep Clark. It never came.
I have no regrets about placing him for adoption, but it sure doesn’t help when I see that little face and remember his little body in my arms. I miss being his mom. I would give almost anything to replay those 2 days again….with a different ending. An ending that involves a fatal car crash.
Let’s really hope he hasn’t found this blog again…
Tonight I will sleep in clean, crisp sheets at the Grandma House.
Because once I told e that the thing I love most about staying in hotels is having clean sheets every night.
I love coming home to you! Thank you e!
Clark was perfectly delightful throughout the ceremony. He was smiley, engaging, and full of life.
I love you, Clark!
When I find out that someone reads my blog, and loves it, I like it.
My dad reads my blog if I write about him. My mom tells him to read it. Maybe he’ll read this. I have unwritten posts in my head about my dad. I have to space them out.
My mom is probably my most faithful follower. She loves it. I could write a post about my mom every day. There’s that much to write. I need to start in on that.
A few days ago I found out about someone else who reads my blog. He says it’s one of his favorite blogs to read. He didn’t have to say that. But I appreciate it. He laughed when he read my Dr. Claw post. You were supposed to laugh. (and be a little angry with me too) So, thank you.
